Why cant i get the upper balljoint to unthread from control arm? I have all the correct tools, yet still i cant get it to budge

no i havent,,,, how would that be done

Use a propane torch to heat up the control arm end without heating the ball joint. Don't get it red hot.

this is going to sound really stupid, but how do i heat up the control arm without the ball joint getting hot as well? is there some mechanics trick to this? additionally, is it necessary that i remove that big spring? i borrowed from autozone a tool for that, to be honest, that kinda spooks me, if that tool fails or if i do it wrong, that spring could do a lot of damage to me. Its not like i wouldnt be right there, you know? i cant afford to pay any mechanic. My husband is a lazy, little dick having peice of ........work,,, so no help there. this guy offered to help and show me, but what he wound up doing was me....the van still needs work, lol