1. You’re not a turkey.

2. Gas prices are still low: now $2.65 a gallon, U.S. average.

3. You don’t own GM stock.

4. You can’t buy this Nissan Qazana; coming next October, it’s for Europe only.

5. There won’t be a Ferrari Viper

Have a great Thanksgiving, all!

—jgoods

2011 BMW 5 Series

Happy Thanksgiving!

While most people in the U.S. are huddled around dining room tables lit by the soft glow of candles and warmed by freshly baked apple pie, there are still a few of us car freaks who are hungry for nourishment of a different kind.

We prefer our stuffing to be wrapped in supple leather rather than stuffed inside poultry. We prefer to be lured by the fresh scent of luxury rather than a browned turkey. We’d rather be hypnotized into a state of delusion by the exhaust note of an Aston Martin than the exhaust note of a sleeping Uncle Larry.

And that, my friends, is why we bring you this special Thanksgiving edition of Cars Coming Soon.

First, for those of you who want a Bentley but also want to hold onto your half-million dollars, you may soon have something to be thankful for. The elite carmaker is considering a double whammy of economical fun: a potential performance-oriented shooting brake model and an SUV. Actually, it would be more of a crossover. Think along the lines of a $130,000 Audi Allroad. Engine choices for both models could include a diesel and a 4.5-liter Audi V8 pumping out 550 horses.

For a healthy dose of luxury and power, but without quite as hefty an entry price, the new 2011 BMW 5 Series has officially debuted. It’s built on the same platform as the 7 Series and even the Rolls Royce Ghost, so this one could be called a bit of a bargain, as it certainly can be had for well under $100K. Factor in a 400-hp twin-turbocharged, direct-injected reverse-flow V8 on the 550i and a 300-hp turbocharged inline six in the 535i, and you’ve got yourself a nearly perfect automobile. Then there’s the lure of a possible M version, a diesel, and a hybrid…. Who wants seconds!?

The Kia Amanti is a car that never got much love. The expectations for a replacement are pretty high, considering the greatness Hyundai has been pumping out in the form of the Genesis and Equus. So what does Kia have in store for those of us who crave cheap luxury? It’s called the Kia Cadenza, and it will debut at next month’s Riyadh Motor Show in Saudi Arabia.

Hyoung-Keun Lee, president of Kia Motors Corporation said,

With the Cadenza, we have created an all-new, large sedan that will revitalize Kia’s fortunes thanks to its exciting appearance, strong performance and luxurious cabin which will guarantee a much broader consumer appeal, attracting thousands of new customers to our brand.

We’ll see if he’s right, but a 285-hp V6 combined with slick looks and sure value are pretty strong indicators that Kia will soon have another vehicle they can be very thankful for.

Again, Happy Thanksgiving.

-tgriffith

GM said it was going to reassess the situation and would advise next week. The thinking in most of the car press is that it will finally pull the plug on Saab, unless—and it’s a big “unless”—a buyer in China or India can be found. The Chinese firm BAIC, which was prepared to take a stake in Koenigsegg, said it would also “cautiously evaluate” the situation (whatever that means).

Unfortunately, this seems like a replay of the Penske back-down with respect to Saturn less than two months ago. When Roger P. couldn’t find a Saturn supplier in Renault, his plans rapidly went south. Then GM abruptly reneged on an almost-final deal to sell Opel. Now, there seems no chance that Koenigsegg will reconsider. One month ago, we wrote about that company’s ambitious plans to reorganize Saab and take it upmarket. At this point, one must conclude that there’s simply no market to take it up to.

The Swedes are putting a good face on it, but they are in a tough position, according to Edmunds’ Michelle Krebs (quoted in a CNN story):

Losing the deal could cost GM additional cash to shut down dealerships and manufacturing facilities in Sweden if it is unable to find another buyer. “This might not get much notice here, but they’ll notice in Sweden,” she said. “The big question is what will the Swedish government do now, whether they’ll allow the plants there to shut down.”

Celebrating the 100,000th Saab 96 in 1963

There’s also the small matter of GM’s $912 million write-down this year on Saab. Over ten years, GM paid out some $725 million to buy the company. Now, money promised from the European Investment Bank ($600 million) on the Koenigsegg deal is also out the window. Saab has 4,500 workers, most in Sweden, whose jobs are plainly in jeopardy.

Financially, it’s a sad story. Emotionally, it’s hard to see a great car company die.

Can a white knight be found to rescue Saab? Let us have your thoughts.

—jgoods

Well, it seems like the Web loves a good Governator controversy. TMZ posted photos, the one here included, of the Governor getting into his Porsche 911 that was parked in a red zone. That’s a $90 ticket for civilians, but it looks like the big man got off free of charge. That story, at last count, had generated 88 heated comments, many of which pointed out that Arnold’s car also is missing the required front license plate.

I tend to think that if you’re a governor, you should get perks that include free parking wherever you want. But whatever.

The bigger news, I think, is a story published over at Leftlane saying about 30 percent of GM buyers are returning their cars under the 60-day money-back guarantee program. The last time we checked on the stats, only one buyer had made a return.

Now, we need to clarify some numbers here. Since GM launched the guarantee program, the company has sold about 220,000 vehicles. However, only 653 buyers have accepted the guarantee (the others took an additional $500 off the sales price). Of those 653 people, 193 have returned their cars for a refund. So really, GM is dealing with a very small fraction of returned cars while gaining public trust just by offering the guarantee. That seems like smart marketing and money well spent to me!

Also, GM is using the opportunity to have execs personally call each person who returned a car to ask for feedback. To me, such actions are evidence that GM really cares about improving its quality and building world-class vehicles.

Now, if GM really wants to succeed, it’ll sign Schwarzenegger to an endorsement deal and require him to park his all-new Chevy Malibu only in clearly marked spaces.

So what’s the bigger news: Schwarzenegger’s parking skills or GM cars getting returned?

-tgriffith

The policy would require that when vehicles are running at speeds less than 20 kilometers per hour that they activate a beeping noise that is similar to the sound of the engine. The policy would not allow the sound to be musical or a chime and would permit the driver to temporarily disable the beeping sound.

Too bad, we were hoping for musical chimes, filling the streets of Tokyo with irritating car music. BTW, how can a beeping noise sound like an engine? Only in Japan.

A new BMW 1 Series hybrid (above) is now testing in Germany. The gas-engine version has been around for a while, and the hybrid (so far) looks the same: like a car out of the 1930s. Details here. The company is going whole hog, if you will, on hybrids, with the ActiveHybrid X6 and the 7 Series, both of which we looked at. BMW is not likely, we imagine, to produce the car in this form, and it won’t come to the U.S. until 2011 or 2012 in any case. So there is still hope.

Mercedes will show the F-cell hydrogen electric at the L.A. Auto Show on December 4. Built on the B-Class platform, this is an entirely new car for Benz, with zero emissions of course, and very little prospect of being widely available anytime soon. However, there will be 200 production F-Cell cars in the U.S. and Europe made available to lease customers for “real-life testing.”

Benz has had the S400 Hybrid for sale in the U.S. for a while now, and you know how we feel about overpriced, overweight cars like this. But this news just in from Autoweek has laid us out. They reported on an event in Manhattan called Eco-luxe whose purpose was to bring journalists to a fancy restaurant to consort with green marketers selling everything from “quintuple-filtered vodka made in low-landfill facilities to carcinogen-free water bottles…. Guests who wanted test drives held off on cocktails before sampling the rides,” thank God, which included the S400 Hybrid.

GM, it appears, has not given up on using the so-called two-mode hybrid system, which it developed with Mercedes and Chrysler in 2004. This technology combines “an electric continuously variable transmission (eCVT) with two electric motors, four fixed gears, various clutches and planetary gearsets, heavy-duty electronics, and originally, a nickel-metal-hydride battery pack.” The Volt, as you know, will use lithium-ion batteries, but this complex system was developed for trucks, buses, and heavy-duty applications in which it works well. One wonders what kind of vehicles GM envisions for it in the future.

Finally, AMP=D showed a marvelous ’33 Ford electrified hotrod coupe at SEMA 2009, demonstrating that the good ol’ hotrod spirit is alive and well. The crew took a high-torque (660-lb-ft) motor designed for a bus, dropped it into this well-executed fiberglass ’33, and they project 0-60 mph in 3 seconds. Its range is 100 miles. Have a nice day.

Should hybrids and electrics require noisemakers? Are pedestrians in danger? Why or why not?

—jgoods

That, my friends, is a road in Ireland that I was supposed to drive on to get to my next hotel. Needless to say, I had to change my plans. I had already driven through one lake that I shouldn’t have and wasn’t about to get washed away by attempting to drive across this. Especially in my rented Chevy Kalos.

I got back from a trip to flooded Ireland just yesterday. One of the most exciting parts of planning the trip was deciding what car I wanted to rent. I ended up requesting a Fiat, wanting to drive a cool European car that isn’t (yet) available in the United States. I would have been equally happy with a Peugeot 207 or Citroen C3.

Maybe if I had rented a Land Rover or Hummer, the floods wouldn’t have forced my change of plans. But I was stuck with the little Chevrolet.

Chevy Kalos

The Kalos is  really an Aveo. Which is a Pontiac G3. Which is a Daewoo. Not exactly the European flair I was hoping for, and certainly not capable of parting Irish floodwaters. The car rattled, it went 0-100 kilometers per hour in about 14 minutes, and it squealed like a guinea pig. But it got about 40 miles per gallon, which was awesome considering gas prices averaged $6.67 per gallon. The car served my wife and me well enough, though, considering we drove 1,000 kilometers (about 621 miles) around the country during the worst flooding Ireland has seen in 800 years.

When we planned the trip, we figured driving long distances would be nothing, since we can easily log 700 miles in one day on U.S. highways. But Irish roads are not U.S. highways. Most of the roads might better be called paths, and are more suitable for hardcore hiking than cross-country driving. And that’s when the roads are dry.

Typical rural road in Ireland

Combine those treacherous driving conditions with the whole driving-on-the-left-thing, and you can imagine the adventures!

Even with all the setbacks, the trip was an eye-opening view into the car culture of Europe versus the U.S.

With small roads, high fuel prices, and excellent rail systems, there is no reason for European residents to own an American-size car or truck. Driving a Ford Explorer (or even a Honda Accord) across rural Irish highways and through tight city streets is as laughable as the bill would be to fill up with gas.

On our side of the Atlantic, wide open Interstate highways and cheap gas have fueled our passion for large, comfortable cruisers capable of chewing up highway miles. Small cars here are needed only when fuel gets expensive. Small cars in Europe are an absolute necessity just to maneuver through the streets.

I sincerely hope all those affected by the flooding in Ireland and England are safe, and I thank the many people there who were nice enough to point a couple of lost Americans to higher ground.

Do you have any stories about driving in a foreign country?

-tgriffith

Flush with cash, it’s unclear why Tesla is pushing forward with an IPO at this time. The company has said it has more than enough funding to complete development of its Model S luxury sedan and construct a plant to build it. But given CEO Elon Musk’s ambitious tendencies (he’s also the founder of PayPal, SpaceX, and SolarCity), we wouldn’t be surprised if the company is considering other projects.

It also seems this may be the time to capitalize on the company’s cash position and the green car techno-boom, such as it is. The LA Times feels the “overall market for new stock offerings has been flourishing lately,” and a successful IPO would surely put Tesla on the map. It would be the first U.S. auto IPO since Ford went public in 1956. A Reuters piece suggests that the allure of such a company for venture funds is considerable, and Tesla has already attracted some high-profile investors, not to mention $465 million in low-cost government loans.

The big drawing card, I think, is not just the Model S (starting at $49,900, after a federal tax credit of $7,500). It’s the 2010 Roadster (above), whose incredible performance has enticed some 700 buyers to shell out $109,000 a copy. With add-ons that any fool would add on, the total can easily come to over $150 K. Scott Doggett of Edmunds.com gave one a good thrashing in the Marin (Calif.) hills. If you read his piece, you’ll want one, guaranteed.

So the IPO, if it comes, should appeal through Tesla’s ability to produce a mid-price, appealing luxo sedan and a state-of-the-art electric sports car for the well-heeled. The fact that the company claims great advances in battery technology will also help.

Tesla is going to have stiff competition from Nissan (the Leaf) and GM (the Volt), among others. Will its niche status enable it to survive and prosper? Give us your thoughts.

—jgoods

Fellow blogger jgoods recently gave us a rundown of the new Buick Regal. A nice article, for sure, but I’m going to go a step further. I’m going to give General Motors a marketing lesson.

I know, I would think the people at GM should know a thing or two about marketing, but apparently they need some help. I base this assumption on the simple fact that the Buick Regal is back.

In all truth, the car looks like it has the right stuff. According to Autoweek:

The new Regal will arrive in the second quarter of 2010 with its sights set squarely on competitors such as the Acura TSX and the Volvo S60. The Regal was developed in Germany–it is essentially the Opel Insignia, a car we think looks terrific, drives well, and is the European Car of the Year. Buick says the Insignia has won more than 31 awards and is the best-selling midsize sedan in Europe.

So the new Regal really isn’t a Regal at all. It’s an Insignia. It’ll even have an available 220-hp turbocharged 4-cylinder engine. Pretty sweet. So why on earth call it a Regal? That’s where I think GM’s marketing folks failed.

I would never, ever, buy a Buick Regal simply because my mother-in-law, my kids’ grandma, owned one. The Regal name isn’t one I want to be associated with as a 30-something dad with a young family.

GM should have treated this as an all-new product and given it an all-new name that could have built an all-new image. Anything other than Regal would have been a good choice. GM wants to move the company forward and make us forget about the hard times of the past, yet it plasters a name that has a whole lot of negative equity associated with it onto a sweet new car. Does that make sense to anyone?

Heck, call it the Buick Insignia, and we’d be thrilled at the European association. Even make up an all-new word and tell us it’s the ancient Greek word for “awesome,” and we’d be all over it, excitedly telling our friends about the hot new Buick.

What GM has done, though, is place a haggard old name on a car that has real potential, possibly eliminating an entire demographic from even taking a test drive.

Would you shop for a Buick Regal instead of something like a BMW 3 Series or Mercedes-Benz C-Class? Did GM make a major marketing error here, or am I the one who’s fallen off the deep end?

-tgriffith

Cadillac CTS Coupe Concept

The Detroit Auto Show will display the CTS and the CTS-V Coupes in May, and I’ll bet they will sell. They need to sell, as Cadillac is hurting. The cars establish the look of the Converj, Cadillac’s upscale Volt coupe, which has drawn praise, even from me. There are good photos of the 2008 concept car here, and the production version should not be much different.

Herr Lutz, GM marketing chief, promised that the Sport Wagon (right), also using the 556 hp Corvette ZR-1 engine that will power the CTS-V Coupe, will be available somewhat later on. These could be exciting cars for GM boosters, most of whom have been starving for a little zing from the company. What the new cars need to do is focus on what consumers want and produce real quality for a change. GM has been negligent for years in this regard, despite its claims to the contrary.

It’s really difficult for the company to claim quality superiority (or even parity) when a publication as widely-read as Consumer Reports is showing so many black marks (literally) on many GM products, [including] the Cadillac CTS and STS… .

The new GM board seems to have made a long-overdue commitment to quality and reliability, and there is evidence that the new Caddys are improving in this regard. That improvement would seem a prerequisite to the success of the new coupes.

The Volt team has also been stressing quality in a recent media update. Some of the highlights of Chief Engineer Andrew Farah’s presentation:

• The Volt is meeting energy power requirements and is now balancing issues such as safety, regulations and customer satisfaction with other issues such as performance, durability, packaging and vehicle design.
• The team has completed the pre-production build process and is in the process of testing the vehicles. Some are being tested around the clock 24/7.
• The team has built all 300 packs for the Volt and the results have been excellent.
• There have been more than 250,000 miles of testing on the pre-production and mule vehicles. Some of the highlights of this testing include hot weather testing in Death Valley, mountain testing at Pikes Peak and a 65% calibration drive.

There, don’t you feel better about buying one? Now if we could all learn to grow flowers on top of our battery packs.

Tell us about your recent good or bad experience with GM quality. Are they on the right track?

—jgoods

Thinking about this decade and its cars, it’s easy to look back and say what could have been done to avoid the collapse of the auto industry. Take GM, for instance. In the months after 9/11/01, Americans were in a patriotic frenzy. Imagine if GM had stood up and said something to the effect of, ”We want to lead American automakers in reducing our need for foreign oil.”

GM could have placed itself in a position of leadership to create smaller cars and drive America toward sustainability. What it did, of course, is ramp up production and marketing of the Hummer brand.

That essentially sums up the decade, as American love for SUVs kept growing along with our vehicles’ size. Even sedans kept growing. The Honda Accord grew from a compact sedan to a large sedan. The Toyota Camry did the same. The Honda Civic became as large as older Accords.

American excess was in prime form, all the way until the summer of 2008, when $4-per-gallon gasoline and $5-per-gallon diesel sucker-punched us in the wallets. Suddenly $125 fill ups sent us whining to the automakers, demanding small cars with great fuel economy. Of course, those didn’t exist here yet, save for the suddenly popular Toyota Prius hybrid.

High fuel prices were followed immediately by the near collapse of the world’s financial system, which sent GM and Chrysler into bankruptcy. Other automakers have survived free-falling sales numbers as they scramble to introduce more fuel-efficient vehicles.

In short, the 2000s have seen transformation like never before in the auto industry. I’m betting these 10 years will go down in history as the years that changed the auto industry forever, from gas-guzzling excess to world-saving efficiency.

What are your favorite cars from the 2000s? As much of a symbol of excess as it is, I still love the 2002 Chevy Suburban 2500!

-tgriffith