Those funny one-liners we see on bumper stickers part 2.

This one is long.

Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.

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I souport publik edekashun.

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Be nice to your kids.
They'll choose your nursing home.

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There are three kinds of people:
Those who can count and those who can't.

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Warning:  Dates in calendar are closer than they appear!

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Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

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My kid beat up your honor student.

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So many cats -- so few recipes.

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Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

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Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

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Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

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A closed mouth gathers no foot.

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I don't discriminate, I hate everyone!

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Who lit the fuse on your tampon?

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Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No Hard Feelings".

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If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

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Good judgment comes from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

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Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

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Duct tape is like the Force.
It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

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There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

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Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

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By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

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So many men, so few who can afford me.

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God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends.

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If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.

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My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

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Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

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Coffee, chocolate, men ... Some things are just better rich.

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Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen.

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If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

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I'm out of estrogen - and I have a gun.

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Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?

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Next mood swing: 6 minutes

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And your point is?

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Road rage: Who gives a BEEP!

"MARRIAGE" -- One indecent proposal!

REALITY BITES, and I have the teeth marks to prove it!