how did you fix the problem of the headlights alternating? what did you have to readjust?

Not sure I understand your problem. Does your pass side go up when you turn the lights on and your driver side stays down or is one side up all the time and, when you turn on the lights, it goes down and the other side pops up? If the problem exists now but did not exist before you changed the motors, I would re-check the polarity of the wiring before digging any further.

How do I do that the connections only go in he way